Anxiety, how it affects a relationship; Part 2

In the last post about Anxiety I covered some of the feelings that are brought about and I had planned to discuss more about what my past had done to the people I had been in relationships with, but as often is the case after talking with my partner about my anxiety it became apparent that many people probably don’t have an understanding of just how impactful anxiety can be to an individual who is affected and therefore the impact that can be wrought on a partner of an anxiety sufferer.

Now I know what you are thinking if you are reading this without chronic anxiety….. ‘I get anxious, I understand the feeling’, sorry but you don’t understand and you can never feel what it is like to be a chronic sufferer. What I would like to do here for you is to help you start to understand what it means to suffer from anxiety and some of the pain I go through every day.

Some points to note: Firstly, this is my personal experience and the symptoms will vary from person to person. Secondly I am in no way medically trained or qualified and as the first point mentioned, this is just my experience.

Some days are better than others, for example I can and do wake up and feel refreshed and perfectly able to take on the world without any compromising feelings whatsoever, these are the good days, the days when I don’t feel that anything is wrong with me. These periods of time can go on for weeks/months and make me forget what it is that I struggle with, though when it comes back, it comes back with avengeance to make up for the good times!

Waking up when anxiety is affecting me has various signs and symptoms, firstly the morning shower is a time for my head to go into a super turbo hyper thought mode! every thought, every problem, every conversation that I’ve had in the past day will be running through my head with my brain answering every single one of them! it is tiring and it is draining to have so many discussions happening. The issue with the day starting out this way is that my anxiety level has started to rise along with associated bodily adrenaline levels.

Adrenaline = great for adventure pursuits; Adrenaline = aches/pain for Anxiety sufferers!

Helping me cope with these thoughts is something called Mindfulness, search google for ‘Mindfulness’: Mindfulness

Next is the office, where a feeling of generalised anxiety has taken over, but now there is a heightened level of Adrenaline as well in my body, leading to a level of physical aching and pain across my chest, stomach etc which doesn’t go away and is intense (Before I was diagnosed with Anxiety I believed that this pain was infact hunger or bad food!)
Generalised anxiety also doesn’t like to go away by itself, there is no specific reason for it to exist and therefore no specific reason why it would just disappear either.
Some common causes could be stresses at work, with family, could be a conversation that needs to be had; the reasons are endless as to why anxiety may be present.

Resetting this feeling of generalised anxiety is a breathing technique that has always worked for me

By the end of the day, my anxiety has been up and down many times but I have been more anxious than not generally. Bed time comes along and the whole thinking process from my waking up (showering) starts over yet again!.
There will be 1000 things going through my head, none of which are important, none of which I need to be worrying about but that is how anxiety affects me and the only way to deal with it is to understand and learn processes to put my Pre-frontal cortex back in charge of my lizard brain.

I hope that the links I have provided can help you with anxiety as they have worked for me.

Next time I am going to discuss more about the hurt that my anxiety can cause those around me.

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