Upfront Contracts and Deal Breakers

Looking for the perfect relationship, aren’t we all? otherwise why are we involved in a loving relationship that we want to last for all time, though this can also be useful in a Friends with benefits too. How far into a relationship have you waited until your expectations and requirements have become a serious issue? … Read more

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Male anger

The linked article is so powerful, why? Because as a male I have been angry before. As a man I get upset, annoyed even grumpy when I’m being accused of something that isn’t my ‘fault’. The article is not about blame or who is involved, it’s about what we as men need to understand when … Read more

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Real life and Facebook

This JPG while funny demonstrates the struggle with Facebook for me.

My friends relationships are all perfect, most weekends they share amazing activities on Facebook, week nights they share cute selfies where there is kissing, hugging, smiling and laughing.

My relationship is nothing like that at all, I live my relationship every morning, every day and every evening. Being with one person 24/7, I live the good times and the bad times. The mediocre days, the days when one of us can not be bothered to get up off the couch, the days when I have had a stressful day or the days she has struggled through her own stresses from internal or external pressures.

The posts I read each morning on my Facebook feed show my friends and colleagues in their best relationship poses, selfies and scenery. I compare and contrast my situation and view whats happening to me as deficient when I compare with my most amazing friends who have exciting lives. Why is it that their relationship is perfect and mine is not? My Facebook friends are always holidaying or eating out, having babies, watching amazing shows etc!

Then there is the contrasting posts, the cryptic ‘I’m newly single’ posts from ex-couples when they have ‘broken off’ their relationship yet have not made this public and so what you read doesn’t really give them away but I know something is up, somethings wrong and after a message its made apparent that their relationship didn’t work out, they just were not as happy as their friends seem to be.

There is an understanding that I have to come to accept. Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter etc are a selective window into your friends and loved ones lives, they post the ‘Gourmet’ photos of their together times and about their amazing experiences on exotic tropical holidays. Never the bad, never the couch potato days where I can’t be bothered to move, or the days when my beautiful partner just can’t seem to feel motivation.

Ultimately they are just the same as I am, the bad times and the good, the rich and the poor. The window into their soul I see through social media is their ‘Best of times’, so I remember that every time I see an amazing holiday post, or gooey post about how in love a friend is with their significant other, that they are the same as I am and their bad times are just the same as mine, you see for every up there has to be a down as well.

I urge you to remember this when you are comparing your relationship to the ones you read about in your Facebook feed, your relationship is real….. the window into theirs is not!!!

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What is your personality type

Personality type testing can be an interesting insight into why you do the things the way you do in the situations you do them, wow what a tongue twister!! Understanding your personality type can help you in relating to the situations that occur in your daily life in a way that makes sense to you, … Read more

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You know about the Dog box!

Many of us end up being sent to the dog house….. Sometimes it feels undeserved and sometimes we know its well earnt! How difficult it can be to accept that we have hurt someone when we don’t believe we were in the wrong, or, maybe we don’t know what it was that we did in … Read more

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Resolving conflicts – please add your comments

What a topic and what a minefield of human emotion. Head vs Heart, what should we listen to? Our head tells us the logical answer but the heart has its own answer and brings those additional feelings along to the table to confuse and confound us more. …..Add some ego to the mix and stubbornness … Read more

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High functioning Anxiety sufferers

As an anxiety sufferer this article is a good insight into how we get caught up in our own world sometimes. Things high functioning Anxiety sufferers do Share with:

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Anxiety, how it affects a relationship; Part 2

In the last post about Anxiety I covered some of the feelings that are brought about and I had planned to discuss more about what my past had done to the people I had been in relationships with, but as often is the case after talking with my partner about my anxiety it became apparent … Read more

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Time, attention and love

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Humility in your relationship

How many times have you had a disagreement or worse still left a relationship because you can never get your ‘message’ across. Your partner doesn’t understand you or won’t let you say what you feel you need to say? Every time you both have a conversation it goes nowhere and the discussion that starts becomes … Read more

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